Episode 65: You Are Responsible for Your Own Happiness

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Like the last episode, today’s episode is about happiness. More specifically, it’s about being responsible for your own happiness.

Are you taking responsibility for your happiness? When was the last time someone gave you a look that you didn’t appreciate, and did you get upset about it?

If you did, you’ve given that person control over your happiness.

Today, I’m going to give you the things that you can do in order to reclaim your power over your own happiness on vacation, and in your life.

Let’s go:

[02:04] You are responsible for your own happiness.

This was the theme of the trip that I spoke about in the previous episode, but the more I thought about it, the more real it became.

You are responsible for your happiness. Other people have no say in whether or not you are happy.

[04:26] Do not give anyone power over your emotions.

The moment you give someone else the power to affect your emotions, you lose the power to choose happiness.

All it takes to hand over that control is to start pointing fingers at others for making you unhappy.

[05:04] Be happy despite those around you.

If you are surrounded by people with stank faces, that doesn’t mean you need to have a stank face.

This applies to the people around you as well. You happy doesn’t mean everyone else is going to be happy. That is not your responsibility.

The people you vacation with have to be responsible for their own happiness and enjoyment, and that includes vacationing the way they want to vacation. Just because you want to turn up doesn’t mean everyone else should, and that also doesn’t mean you should feel obliged to sleep in if that’s what someone else wants to do.

[09:16] Remove yourself.

On my trip, I went to Coco Bongo in Cancun, Mexico. The people I went with were all miserable and upset while every other person was out dancing and turning up in the streets. I decided to head over to Senor Frog’s where I turned up without my group until our transportation arrived.

If someone looks like they’re going to dampen my vibe, I remove myself from the situation.

If you accept responsibility for your own happiness, and you let go of the idea that you need to be responsible for everyone else’s happiness, you get to remove yourself from their situation and put yourself in a situation where your happiness is taken care of.

[13:50] Get out of your box.

If you’re going somewhere with a different vibe to what you would usually turn up to, get out of your box and make it your new vibe. You will have a good time if you open yourself up to the possibility that you could find fun outside of the things that you usually do.

That’s the point of traveling and going on vacation – to do things that you don’t do in your everyday life. If you’re expecting your vacation to be like everything back home, you will only ever have a good vacation if you stayed at home.

[16:46] Change your narrative.

You can control your happiness.

You can’t control what happens on vacation.

I know you want the vacation where nothing goes wrong, no one gives you a stank look, and everything is just perfect. It’s almost never going to happen.

Shit happens.

How you deal with it determines whether or not you have a good time. You need to adapt to all sorts of situations and having the ability to do so means you can change your narrative – remember that phrase!

[21:17] Change your tone of voice.

Yes, we know it’s sometimes unpleasant if plans have to change, and in some cases it’s not possible to change your narrative in that moment.

In that moment, you don’t want to be ripping people’s heads off.

Firstly, taking it out on someone isn’t going to change the situation. If anything, there’s a good chance it will make the situation worse.

Second, if you’re ripping someone’s head off, they’re less likely to be willing to help you find a solution.

Especially now, during Covid, things are changing more than ever. If you’re not able to handle how everything is changing beyond your control, and you’re unable to change your narrative, the next best thing to do is change your tone of voice.

[24:16] Be grateful.

This is such a simple thing to do.

All you need to do is take stock of what you have and ignore what you don’t have.

Be grateful for the fact that you can afford to take a vacation at a resort in another country rather than being upset that there was no room service.

[27:01] Surround yourself with positive energy.

There’s the saying, “you never know a person until you travel with them.”

If you travel with a negative person, you can decide to never travel with them again.

This applies to life as well. Cut toxic people out of your life and you will have much less negativity living rent-free in your mind.

[28:31] Love thyself.

If you take anything from these episodes, it must be this.

Love yourself. Meditate. Do the things you enjoy.

In episode 57, Dr Flanagan spoke about prepping your mind for a vacation with meditation. It doesn’t even have to be meditation. It can be anything that you enjoy doing to get your mind into the space that it needs to be happy.

These are the things that you need to decide to do in order to take back control of your happiness

If you find yourself in a situation that is just testing you, or you feel like if something goes wrong, it’s going to ruin your vacation, remember: you can decide that. 

You can decide to be calm and collected in a tense moment or you can decide to rip someone’s head off. You can decide to go out into the streets and turn up with the locals to their music, or you can sit around with a stank look on your face.

You can choose to be upset, or you can choose to take responsibility for your own happiness.

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Check out the links to some of the things mentioned in this episode:

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