Welcome to episode 83! Today, I’m joined by writer and body image advocate, Laura Delarato.
Today, we’re getting into all things self-love, sex, and travel. Being comfortable with has a big influence on both your sex life and your travel, and we are going to dive deep and talk about ways that you can become more comfortable with yourself so that you can live your best sex and travel life.
Let’s get into it:
[02:36] A bit about Laura.
After struggling with eating disorders for many years, Laura started working at The Pleasure Chest sex toy shop, where she learned how to teach people to make good decisions for their bodies for pleasure. She then realized that she wasn’t making those decisions for herself, and her body image and sex education worlds merged.
[06:51] Body image affects everything.
Your body image can dictate what you’re willing to do, and that has nothing to do with how your body actuallylooks – it’s all about how you view your body that affects the things you do or don’t do and how you feel.
You could have what society sees as “the perfect body” and still have body image issues. You could also be a larger person who has worked on their body image and feel good about your body.
[10:17] Self-love and travel.
When you’re traveling, you need to rely on yourself, and you can only really do that if you know yourself, and knowing yourself requires you to love yourself.
Travel also allows you to discover things about yourself, which increases your confidence and improves your self-love.
[15:10] Solo travel.
When Laura travels solo, she thinks of herself as a character.
When I travel solo, I always ask myself, “what would EJ The Travel Diva do?” And then I get out there and do it.
Many people make solo travel sound easy. It’s not easy. It gets easier over time, but no one talks about what it’s like at first when you need to pump yourself up to do things.
[20:08] Going on a vacation with someone you’re not in a relationship with.
It’s really cool how people are breaking the mold of the traditional ideas of relationships.
When travelling with someone else, it’s important to talk about boundaries. With partners or lovers, Laura has a “Yes, No, Maybe” list to help keep bodies and hearts safe.
[27:42] Getting partners to go on a vacation to a nude resort.
Instead of focusing on trying to get a partner to do something, Laura suggests reframing it as an experience for all parties involved.
Having an open discussion using the “Yes, No, Maybe” list could be helpful in discovering how your partner feels about certain situations, and perhaps whether or not there is some compromise to be made so that everyone can feel comfortable on their own terms.
[34:14] Taking amazing nude pictures.
Taking nude photos are an amazing expression of self-love.
There’s an entire industry that has the sole purpose of telling us how we should or shouldn’t look. A key part of feeling comfortable with how we look is to take small steps to feeling good with our naked selves. The more our brains see ourselves feeling comfortable being naked, the more confident we become with how we look.
On the days that you‘re having a bad body image day, you have the photos to look back on to remind yourself that you have felt good about yourself before.
[40:45] How to not judge yourself.
Judgement and shame are strongly connected to how we grew up and what we were told about ourselves.
Give yourself time to unpack and figure out whether or not the things you were told are valid, and if they’re not, work at undoing the conditioning around those things so that you can feel less judgement and shame towards yourself.
Laura suggests thinking about those judgements as coming from someone who isn’t yourself. Would you accept those words coming from a random person in the street? Call out the voice in your head as you would if it was coming from someone else.
[46:35] The shame around vacation flings.
On vacation flings, it’s a great opportunity to assert your values and boundaries, and to practice those things in a way that you typically wouldn’t.
As a society, we need to separate the ideas of pleasure and morality.
A vacation fling is pleasurable, but society would view it as taboo or immoral. We all deserve that pleasure and to advocate for that pleasure, especially as a way to get to know ourselves.
[55:43] My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great sex.
This book is a journey of self-discovery, self-love, and pleasure.
Every person’s experience is different, and the book serves to help people experience pleasure through discovery and growth.
Every person deserves pleasure, and putting pleasure first allows us to make good decisions for ourselves. These decisions inform how we walk through the world.
I hope this episode has helped you think positively about your own pleasure, and that you take the first step on your journey to self-love so that you can become a better traveler, experience the world with confidence, and live your best life.
Follow Laura at her website, Instagram, Twitter, and her newsletter.
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